A few weeks ago I wrote the introduction to this “How To Be An Interesting Person” series. Today I would like to continue with part one.
An Interesting Person Looks Interesting.
When we meet people for the first time, their looks are often the most immediate thing we use to quickly judge them. I don’t use the term “judge” in a negative way, I just mean that looks are often the first thing we use to quickly assess a person and put them in a category. Our human brain is trained to bring order to chaos, and categorizing someone is one of the ways our brain works to make sense out of something new. There is nothing wrong with this and it is actually a very useful tool when meeting someone for the first time.
Have you ever seen someone walking down the street and they just look interesting? How about when you see a group of women sitting around talking. Is there one woman who is drawing your interest and focus? Or what about when you go to dinner at a friend’s house and meet new people. Is there one or two people who are the most engaging, articulate and compelling? All of these are examples of an interesting person.
An interesting woman exudes a captivating aura around them, and more often than not, it is their looks that are the first thing that strikes the casual observer as “interesting”. Now please don’t misunderstand me. I am absolutely not speaking of beauty, though she very well may be gorgeous. There are plenty of interesting and passionate women who are not necessarily immediately pleasing to the eye. An interesting woman comes in all colors, shapes, and sizes, which is as it should be. Because an interesting woman isn’t interesting just for her looks, she is interesting because she has confidence!
Yes, the real secret to being an interesting woman is the faith in one’s awesomeness! Think about it for a second. Quickly bring to your mind’s eye the most interesting person you know. I bet they are also extremely confident. That isn’t to say they have a huge ego and are braggarts. Frankly those types of people are usually the dullest. Having confidence means one doesn’t need to bring their awesomeness to everyone’s attention, they just have the knowledge that they are awesome and therefore they don’t need to speak of it. They just are.
But if one has a lack of self respect or feels like they are not awesome, how does one acquire it? That, ladies, is what this series will be about. And today’s lesson is about finding confidence in one’s appearance.
As a woman it is easy to constantly berate yourself about your looks. We are continully bombarded with images of gorgeous women, thin women, sexy woman, wrinkle free women, women who seem to have it all. But guess what. Deep down I bet those women also have insecurities about their looks? You know why? Because for some reason as a society we have the idea that it is never enough. If you are thin then you are bony and emaciated. If you are curvy then you are fat and unhealthy. If you dress up then you are shallow and only interested in your looks. If you throw on sweatpants and a dirty tee shirt then you are undisciplined and messy. There is literally no way to win. So within this context, how is a woman supposed to feel good about themselves?
I say we, as women, need to stop playing the game. We need to decide for ourselves what makes us feel beautiful. Right now I am a size 6/8. It is considered a “normal” size for most people. But I don’t necessarily feel confident about myself when I am in a bathing suit. So what do I do? I ignore it. I push down that feeling and try to hide it away where it isn’t making me feel bad about myself. Then I try to find the most flattering swimsuit possible so when I wear it I feel better about myself because I don’t look horribly fat. Finally, I am personally a big fan of the cover-up tunic. I don’t like to get too much sun so the cover up makes me feel more confident (because I am an inherently modest person- ie: even if I looked like Giselle I would still feel more comfortable in clothing) plus it keeps my skin out of direct sunlight.
By ignoring my negative feelings I don’t give them a way to fester and make me feel even worse about myself. Then I take that negative body image and turn it into a positive one by buying clothing that makes me look and feel my best. Then once I feel confident I actually become confident and walk as if I am the most beautiful woman in the world. You know why? Because I am! Ok, I am exaggerating, obviously Beyonce is the most beautiful woman alive. But you get where I am going with all this.
When you dress in a manner that is flattering to your appearance you feel better about yourself. Here is what I want you to do. The next time you wake up and you feel terrible- maybe it is that time of month, or maybe your baby kept you up all night long, I want you to put on your best, cutest outfit. I want you to brush your hair and even put on lipstick. And then I want you to be observant about how your outfit made you feel. Did it help put a brightness into your day, or was it more like putting lipstick on a pig? I have found that nine times out of ten, just by putting in an extra five minutes into my looks I am rewarded ten times over because I end up feeling so much better about myself than if I had decided to say forget it and wallow in my sweatpants.
One of the first things a person notices about you is your appearance. When you are dressed nicely, your hair is brushed, and you have a smile on your face you instantly become more compelling than a person who walks around her day in her pajamas. Looking good is closely related to feeling good so in your quest to becoming a more interesting person, I want you to start paying attention to your looks and seeing for yourself that it is the first step in becoming a glamorous woman.
*Side note: If you have a baby that is 1-6 months old, you don’t need to worry yourself about your appearance as much. This is a very short amount of time in the scheme of things and your job is to get through your day, not necessarily get dressed up. This is especially true if this is your first baby! There is so much to learn when you have a baby so put a pause on being either interesting or glamorous until you have gotten into the swing of having a baby. This is also true if you are sick with a cold or flu. Take your time, luxuriate in your pajamas, drink warm soup and then get back to it when feeling better. A glamorous housewife knows there are times when it is better to wallow.