Fashion And Ageing: Part 1
Last week I was in a bit of a funk and asked you ladies to help me snap out of it. Well your suggestions for post topics was exactly what I needed, so thank you for that! One thing that really stuck out at me was the myriad of questions about fashion at different ages and what was appropriate. It seems as if some of my dear readers are getting older and are not sure what they should wear. Because I am only 39 I hadn’t given it much thought, but I spent the last four days doing some research and thinking about age and fashion.
I was born, raised, and still live in Los Angeles. It has been my number one influence when it comes to clothing. So I have a feeling my idea of what is appropriate might be different then someone who grew up in the Midwest or in a different country. I mean to be totally honest, it is pretty hard to judge anyone’s age around here and with all the plastic surgery and botox, who can tell? And in case you were wondering, yes, I get botox. And I love it! But that is a different post. I normally don’t watch the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, but I caught an episode last night because I was curious as to how old they were and what they wore. It turns out they are mostly in their late 40s and very early 50s. And even though I can’t stand the show, I think those women look pretty darn good! Sure they have had too much work done (NEVER let anyone plump your lips. Ever) but they all had good bodies and great hair. But then again, they also have their own hair dressers, make-up artists, and I bet you they all have very expensive extensions. This isn’t to say I have a problem with that, I am just saying that probably isn’t very practical for your average woman.
Can you guess how old Nigella Lawson is? 53! Who knew? She looks amazing! I should be so lucky to look like her at her age! But seriously, I think she looks and dresses totally appropriately. If you are in your 50s and you feel sexy and want to dress that way, then I say go for it! My only caveat would be the same to anyone who like to sex it up- leave something to the imagination. Ie: don’t wear a short skirt and a tight top. Don’t show off too much cleavage. Don’t let your bra straps show, you aren’t Carrie Bradshaw. Speaking of Carrie Bradshaw, what about those ladies? SJP is 47 and fabulous. Kim Cattrall is 56! Cynthia Nixon is 46 and Kristin Davis is 48. I really can’t see any of them looking bad in practically anything, can you?
I almost wonder if changing one’s fashion has more to do with size then age. It is my opinion that we tend to get heavier as we age. At least that is what has happened to my mom and to myself. I am certainly not the same size I was even 10 years ago. With that said, I happen to live in the work-out capital of the world (I just made that fact up) and let me tell you, I don’t think I have a single large friend. No. Joke. And they all dress in skinny jeans and flowery tops from Anthropologie and wear their daughter’s clothes. Seriously! As a matter of fact, around here one doesn’t “get old” until you are at least 55-60. So that is why it is so difficult for me to give advice on the subject.
So my advice on what looks flattering and appropriate on different women isn’t so much their age as it is their size. If you are 55 and skinny then I say you can probably rock almost anything. But if you are 25 and wear a size 16, then maybe skinny jeans are not the right look for you (unless you are quite tall). If you are a larger gal then you might not feel as comfortable showing off your arms, or anything quite short. This is also common in women over the age of say 50? At least that is the stereotype I grew up with.
I will admit, I have a few little quirks when it comes to ageing. For example, I don’t think you should go sleeveless to a nice event after age 60. I also think you should wear skirts that hit the knee or lower. Notice what Martha wore to court today? She looks fantastic, but I think she would look even better with a slightly longer skirt (and I detest the shoes. Awful). I have also found many of the dresses on Mod Cloth to be too “youthful” which often corresponds to too short or too strappy or shows off too much decolletage and usually all at the same time. I personally try to stay away from items I find too “twee”, even though I adore it on others and if I were ten years younger, I would probably buy. But a lot of that has to do with the fact I am not a size 2 anymore. It also has to do with getting more conservative in my clothing then I used to. I mean I am married and don’t dress to attract men anymore. But if I were single and on the prowl, maybe I would venture out in a shorter skirt than I am used to and I would certainly work the girls (ie: my boobs) more than I do now.
On the other hand I can see myself getting even more fabulous as I age. I have a secret dream of wearing fabulous muumuus and turbans and being surrounded by muscled gay men who adore me and my fabulous self and want to hear all about my exciting life as they bring me drinks by the pool. To a certain extent I kinda can’t wait until I am old enough to just not give a hoot about what others say and dress as crazy as I like. I mean we need to get something out of aging, and besides wisdom maybe I will acquire the ability to be even more extravagant then I already am!
One dear reader mentioned she is moving away from J.Crew and Anthropologie and starting to shop at Talbots and I was confused. Now I love me some Talbots, so it wasn’t about that. It was the reasoning behind it. Maybe my older readers can give me some insight. Do our bodies change and clothing from those stores stop fitting? I mean I surely can’t wear teen clothing, my boobs and hips are far too big. Does something like that happen as we age? Or is it a weight issue? We all know most clothing stores don’t make clothing for heavier women. I am very curious to find out why Anthopologie and J. Crew (and their ilk) don’t work after a certain age and Talbots and Jones Of New York do work. So if you are over 40 and have any thoughts on ageing and fashion, please comment below or email me at theglamoroushousewife@gmail.com. I am so interested in this subject and would like to learn as much as possible from my darling readers.
There are a couple of fitting issues I have noticed that make certain stores skew younger in my mind. 1. They don’t carry over a size 12 or 14. My girls make me a 14 to 16 on top, although I am a 12 on the bottom. 2. Even if they have a 16, the darts are ridiculously high. Since my girls are not right under my chin, that doesn’t work for me. To me, these are signs that these stores design for a younger body type that my 45-year-old body (which has produced two children) just doesn’t match! All of which has me back at my sewing machine growing more expert with each project on how to make a full bust adjustment!
I just turned 40 in December and I’m still the same size 4/6 I was 10 and 20 years ago (thankfully) but I’m married and I don’t like wearing low cut shirts anymore showing off the girls. As I’ve gotten older I do believe in leaving things to the imagination. I like my skirts and dresses to hit right at the knee. I find that women of a certain age make themselves “look older” when they show off too much and try and keep up with the 20 year olds. If you dress classy most of the time it could be a complete mystery to people as to how old you really are! =)
I’m 45 and living in the Midwest, where people tend to be more conservative, and I find attitudes here toward older women and fashion discouraging. It seems as though people have this perception that not only are certain styles of clothing (short skirts, sleeveless, etc.) “too young” for women of a certain age, so is color, pattern, and fashionable cut or tailoring. It’s as though women are expected by the age of 50 to be consigned to the “older woman” uniform of black slacks, beige turtlenecks, and boxy, shapeless jackets. If she does anything else she’s “showing off,” “dressing too loud,” or “not dressing her age.” I absolutely refuse to go quietly! At work I have a bit of a vintage 1960s prep going on, knee length skirts with cardigan sweaters in rich colors, floral blouses, and vintage bead jewelry. At home I favor casual cotton print skirts in retro patterns. I believe in cute shoes no matter what age woman (I adore so many of yours!) I agree that I don’t feel as comfortable or look as good in revealing clothing because of changes in my body, and that’s okay– I earned it by bring four healthy sons into this world. On the other hand I think it’s okay to revel in what still looks good. A good friend of mine that’s my age has gorgeous girls, and she dresses to show it off (tastefully), and I think that’s fine. I still have very nice looking legs and like my skirts cut to show them off (though I’m done with mini skirts, definitely). You can break the rules if certain assets still look great!
Yes! Yes! Yes! Totally agree with you. Who cares if others say someone is “showing off or dressing too loud”. Guess what, at age 39 I show off and dress too loud. And good for you to recognize the changes in your body are due to having four children. Rock on!
complex topic.
Personally (East German origin), I find it quite ok with 44 look like 44. mind you a neat 44.
cheerful, elegant clothing, natural hair color (mine are gray, white), the event-appropriate makeup are beautiful at any age, but the older a woman is, the more important.
I’m not a prude, but I find more material on clothing better in every age.
sexy does not last long – a good style though.
these hollywood women I find frankly pretty creepy.
I agree with everything you wrote. And I can see how those Hollywood women would be creepy to a normal person, but I have always lived among them so I think my eye has gotten used to the look.
Smart and helpful observations. I’ve struggled with the issue of how to dress as a woman in her 50′s ’cause I am in my 50′s — but I missed out on all the fun of earlier years. So I want to re-capture the excitement of that earlier fashion while not being embarrassingly inappropriate. I’ve learned many of the lessons you teach. We can be sexy but not too much; colorful but not crazy, etc. Dressing in your 40′s is much easier; 50 is the real dividing line.
You know me! I’m going to be 40 in May. Gosh knows, I go through phases of dress with such mash-ups that I have no clue what is okay for my age. But I must admit that as I do get older, I don’t care as much what is in fashion or acceptable and go with what I love. I’m sure you have seen the “Advanced Style” blog? Those ladies are the epitome of what I consider fashionable and what I aspire to be! I like the mix of funky and glamor.
You are going to be 40!!!! I would have guessed early 30s, tops. I adore the Advanced Style blog and read through it for research for this post. What I found was most of those pictured are in their 70s and 80s, not their 40s-50s, which is what I was trying to concentrate on. It was actually kind of difficult to find information on that age group.
What a great topic. I’m going to be 57 this month. I’m very comfortable in my own skin to a certain degree. Having had 3 kids the “girls” are just darn downers. I cannot get any type of lift bras if my life depended on them. They are deflated to the point of no return ; ( , so nooo low cut tops for me, ever.
Now many yrs ago when shorts were over our belly buttons and our jeans, we thought that was cool… NOT… when I look back at that fashion statement I cringe. I’m all about dresses now, a little over the knee cuz I still have great legs so they tell me, and cute shoes. I’ve learned to hide my scoliosis in dresses, nothing around the waist. BTW I’ve just gone through a very extensive scoliosis operation 4 months ago wish another year of recovery…
I’m a thrift shopper and LOVE finding long ago dresses. My hair is completely salt and pepper and I’m sooo thrilled with it. One of my best features I think. I’m also all about PINK. Since I live in Ontario, Canada, I bought myself some sweet PINK UGGS. I match that up with my black vintage swing coat and I’m good to go. I also wear some nice Italien boots with a little heel when I want to “step it up”. I try and convert my friends that do not know how to dress and still look pretty. It’s been working just fine and they LOVE they’re new look.
Great topic. OH and BTW… I hope you got your basement done… you inspired me. xoxoxoxo
First, I just wanted to thank you for visiting my blog and commenting on my Garden Casita!
Secondly, you sound very insightful about women’s fashion and style. Our bodies do change over the years, blame it on babies, hormones, whatever. I’m not saying you necessarily get bigger, but it just seems that things shift. I enjoy wearing fashionable clothing, but I tend to buy classic styles that don’t go out of style too quickly. I also enjoy “not acting my age” on occasion and just wearing something funky. The thing I’m most cautious about is taking care of my skin. I live in the AZ desert, so you will never find me not wearing sunscreen. I have never had work done & can’t see botox anywhere in my future. By-the-way, I’m 64.
Last winter I write a post dishing out fashion advice. I talked about what to wear at any age. These are just my opinions, and my opinions tend to change from time to time, but I don’t think it’s so much a certain store or article of clothing as much as it is finding out what fits and what clothing is appropriate for certain events.
I really think that women getting stuck in a fashion rut really ages them. I mean, when you see a forty-five year old woman sport late seventies/early eighties hair, you know she’s stuck.
Here’s my post. Like I said, it was all opinion at the time. I’m not trying to tell people how to dress. http://thedomesticfringe.com/fashion-what-to-wear-at-any-age-10-principles/
~FringeGirl
I’m 43 and I live in San Francisco, the “City of Eternal Adolescence.” The city is loaded with artists, musicians, vintage obsessives, Burning Man types, and burlesque and drag performers and that defnitely influences local ideas of what’s appropriate. Folks at any age dress however they please on the street and, thanks to the technology industry, most business have pretty casual dress codes. No one bats an eye if you come to work in jeans and a rock tee. Even more conservative offices aren’t ruffeled by an employee who wears 1940s suits instead of modern ones.
Creative SF street style and the local and blog-land vintage scenes definitely influence how I dress. I’m not slim or particularly fit, but I’m well proportioned, which I think buys me some leeway.
I love 50s and 60s clothes and lean towards pencil or full skirts that land at or below the knee, paired with a nipped in waist and a very fitted bust line. Then again, I might rock a fingertip length skirt with opaque tights and knee high boots if I feel like it.
If I’m mutton dressed as lamb, I’m not too torn up about it. I suspect that in my 50s I’ll need some kind of fashion intervention, but since I have no kids to embarrass and my husband “dresses funny” too, maybe not.
So yes, I wonder about this question a lot…and then I forget all about it and wear something completely bonkers that makes me happy. …and no matter how crazy I think I’m dressed, I always see someone on the street who tops me. I love SF!
I love this post and the comments. It is fascinating to see how where we work and live affects the way we dress. I agree completely.
I live in Idaho in a very conservative and religious community. I love the people and their influence on me and my family, and I think very carefully about what I wear. I’ve just read this blog spot for the past few weeks and as a result I’ve decided to improve in two areas: add more color and wear more jewelry! Nice conservative start don’t you think! After watching your excellent tutorial on applying makeup I was also re-inspired to wear makeup daily. I learned how to apply it tastefully when I was young but sometimes don’t wear it around the house. I’m going to change that. It always lifts my spirits when I do.
I’ve found thrift stores to be a fun place to start because I can find so many different styles and shapes in one place. It is informative to try them on and evaluate my body type(14/16 on top and 16/18 pant)and how different shapes look on me.
I will be turning 50 this year, and in recent years I have gone through a lot of healing and done grief work. My friends know this about me so I really do want to move slowly so I don’t scare anyone (or myself either) with a new look!
I have a surprise bonus baby boy, age 8 (my fifth child), and he has very strong opinions about what I wear. I frequently ask his opinion just to see what he will say, and usually I agree with him.:) He is very honest. Not that you always want the opinion of an 8 yr. old boy, but finding an honest voice or opinion is so helpful.
I completely agree with your theory that the way we dress is based on the size we are. There have been two times in the past 30 years when I have been at my ideal weight. And when I was I frequently had people comment on how youthful I looked. I attribute this partly to my lucky DNA because my mother’s family is extremely youthful, and partly to the fact that I was fit. Being slim helps you move gracefully which is a youthful trait.
I have to be careful when I order online to ask for free return shipping etc. I frequently have to return items because the measuring charts and the actual fit don’t always add up for me. When I go to department stores I always try clothes on to make sure they fit before I leave. I think the comment from Jeanne Marie (above) about tailoring your clothes is an excellent solution. What I’ve found is that within each brand I have to find what fits, and then remember how they size their particular look.
You mentioned earlier about certain stores not making clothes for heavier women. That is true. I do find it helpful to look in their stores for ideas on how to create an outfit and to find out what is the trend. Many of the ideas can be used for different body shapes. For instance, scarves can be used by heavier/older women, however I may want a softer, more fluid fabric rather than something that is bulky. I also love to look through mail order catalogs to see how the stylists put together an outfit and how they use color. They do amazing work.
Well. I have written more than I expected too. This is a fun topic.:)
Excellent topic. I also love the “Advanced Style” blog. Peri-menopause has reshaped my body. I weigh the same that I did 10 years ago, but at 41, everything has shifted. My hair is thinner, my skin drier, my leg veins bluer, my eyes are puffier. Aging isn’t necessarily pretty, but I plan to make the very best of it and am enjoying the fact that I finally know what I like to wear and what looks good on me. Fit and color are everything! So that often requires alterations and if I am going to spend money on that, I won’t buy fast fashion.
I would love to find some more blogs that address the issue of body-image, confidence, and aging. As for fashion blogs, I love to read “Une femme d’un certain age”, “The Vivienne Files”, “MaiTai’s picture book”, and because I sew, “Gorgeous Thing’s Blog.”
I noticed my body really changing after I turned about 42 – I’d always been skinny and don’t have kids so it’s definitely an age thing. I’m 44 now and I’m thinking my size 4 days are behind me. I also work in government so I need to be conservative but I’m in communications so I can be a little more fun. I love Jessica Quirk’s “What I Wore” blog because she features nice but wearable outfits that are pretty timeless. And, of course, I love the outfits The Glamorous Housewife showcases!
First of all, my dear, and I wholeheartedly mean this, you don’t look anywhere near 39. I had to read that twice to make sure I’d seen the number correctly.
I’m 28 (29 in July), so I have a little while to go before I hit my 40s. No matter my age though, there have always been certain tenets of dressing/style that I’ve applied to my life and my body type (for example, a degree of modesty is always a must for me) and which I know will still be there when I’m in my 40s and beyond. One of which is to dress in the way that brings me the most happiness (assuming it’s appropriate to the setting I’m in, of course), and the older I get, the better I become at really living this principle more days than not. I like to think that when I hit my 40s, it will ring even more true.
♥ Jessica
I totally agree it’s size more than age. As we age common sense says no mini skirts but there are some styles I think are appropriate for my age but not necessairly my weight. Great post!
Regarding Talbots vs. Anthro or J.Crew, as a former Talbots manager, I can tell you that each of these stores spends a lot of time/money to create a targeted customer profile–each store has a very good idea of who their ideal customer is and what will attract her. The Talbots customer is in her 40′s-60′s. Talbots bought the J.Jill brand partially because they were hitting the same demographic with those stores and they knew the customer well. Whereas the demo for J.Crew starts in the early twenties. And while we may think of the demo for Anthro as twentysomething girls, it’s actually women in their thirties and upward in an income bracket of $100K+/year.
I think it has to do with what stage in life you are in. The way we dress reflex something about us, like, if we are married, if we are single, or a mom or not and so on. I think it´s more about that than an wight issue .
I am 41, live in NYC, and have no children. I really dislike magazine articles that tell me what I should wear at certain age brackets. I am the same size and weight I was 15/20 years ago, but my body is different. It has gotten more womanly and I finally have curves! I am enjoying who I am know and I think that is what keeps me looking young. Hopefully!
The Sunday Times here in the UK just published a list of the top-dressed people of 2013 in its ‘Style’ magazine, and a lot of them were ladies from later age brackets – Charlotte Rampling, Michelle Obama (she got the number one spot), Mrs Prada etc. It’s really great to see that age doesn’t necessitate a decline in style, because I don’t want to fade into beige obscurity. It was also great to see women of many different body shapes in the list.
I’m in my 30s, but am already shopping at shops targeting an older bracket, I think because I like vintage styles so I like classic shapes, dresses with sleeves, and hemlines below the knee.
I definitely see myself dressing better as I age – hopefully I will have more money in the years to come and I’m sure that would help no end!
Px
I very much appreciate this post and the comments! I am turning 46 soon, and I always forget my current age! I am still a 0/2, fit, wear my hair sassy short and blonde like I almost always have. I love clothes and shoes. Boots are my weakness.. Over the years, as things improve, we get smarter and maybe more discretionary income, defining style is a natural progression! It’s fun to look back at newlywed pictures, new mama pictures and see, all along there were white Keds, cute button downs, other classics. Now still updated and on trend but within reason and style. I still rarely wear heels, but instead cute flats, espadrilles, Sperrys. I love a dark wash denim, and a crisp smart button down. I stand with other readers, I’m a bit more modest, always have been, but clothes that fit right (as many readers have commented) are far more interesting than anything bared! And the reader from the midwest, like me, knows the challenge of stylish but warm! It can be done! I was recently told I was Minnesota chic by a lovely ( re: younger, über stylish) gal. Day made!
I think looking relevant is important, and feeling dynamic is what clothes should do for us! Oh btw! Love your blog! Carry on, no, wait, style on!
P.s. Martha’s bootie shoes hybrids are horrid. The look wouldn’t work on anyone, that’s the long and short of it!
Well I am 49 this year and am just getting back into fashion after the exhaustion of raising 3 girls and getting up at 3.30am to go to work, so on my part I feel life gets in the way and we get lost in the world of fashion, but when I look at all these glamorous women older than me I think I want to look like that and am starting to change my fashion sense into ‘fashionable’ again. I always watch other women and what they are wearing and have had for 15 years a fantastic opportunity working at an international airport and seeing how women from every corner of life dress and they have been my inspiration. Now my inspiration comes from bloggers like yourself. I have put on weight but now eat from a smaller plate, have homemade soup in the day and snack on nuts. I have in a week already seen a difference in my weight and bought a lovely dress which was figure hugging but not at all inappropriate for my age but made me feel good. Oh, and I’m growing my hair again! something in England us ‘older’ women have always been told not to do, but life has changed and we need to embrace that. Nikki x
the key to all ages is that feel good in these clothes … beautiful and in harmony with her personality ……
“To a certain extent I kinda can’t wait until I am old enough to just not give a hoot about what others say and dress as crazy as I like.”
You don’t need to wait. You are this age, you always have been this age.
I loved this article, except this line. because it contradicts everything else you say. I figure everyone can always dress however you want these days and what makes you think that age will change how much you care about how others feel about your cloths? I figure if I care now I will probably always care.
AND dressing crazy is fun so why wait!? There is only really one person who’s opinion of how you dress matters and that’s you. It’s about self confidence!